Breathing Through the Pain - A Journey of Unimaginable Loss and Unyielding Love

 

Grief is the echo of love enduring beyond the boundaries of life, much like the breath that fills our lungs with hope.

The Hardest Chapter - This chapter was the hardest for me to write. Every time I tried, the tears just came. Our family was hit by unimaginable tragedy nine years after our Miracle No. 2, Daniella's birth. We were incredibly close, and losing my dearest uncle, my mother’s brother, on the 15th of February, 2017, was a blow that shook us all. He was more like a second father to me. And then, as if fate hadn't already been cruel enough, my beloved brother was killed in a power paragliding accident on the 2nd of July, 2017. How could it be that my mother would lose her brother and I would lose mine, only five months apart?

My brother was only 36 years old, and I miss him every single day. He was my best friend. We were born just 15 months apart and were incredibly close. Even though I was the older sister, he always took care of me. He had been living in Centurion, Pretoria for the two years before his death, and every time I was hospitalized, he would call daily to make sure I was listening to the doctors and behaving myself. He knew how stubborn I could be. Sometimes he would surprise me by flying down to visit. One minute I’d be talking to him on the phone, and the next, he’d be standing in my hospital room, ready to fly back on a Sunday afternoon.

When he moved to Centurion, we decorated his flat together via WhatsApp. He’d send me pictures of furniture, plates, and cutlery, asking for my advice. “Tanya, I’m standing at this coffee table. What do you think? Should I buy it? Hurry up and answer.” Oh, how I miss those messages, those hugs, those conversations. My brother was just like me—we communicated openly and frequently. Schalk has had to learn to adapt, lol. Markie worked for Schalk, so if I needed to know how the business was doing or needed any information, he was my go-to.

Mark was an incredible man, always ready to help anyone in need. He was an organ and tissue donor, and his generosity knew no bounds. On the afternoon of the 2nd of July, 2017, around 5 o’clock, I got a phone call saying that my brother had been in an accident. At first, I couldn’t comprehend what his friend was saying. I asked, “Is Markie okay? Has anyone else been hurt? Is the car a write-off?” I needed to understand the severity of the situation.

“Tanya,” his friend said, “you don’t understand. Your brother was in a power paragliding accident.” He explained that Mark had gone flying with his friends, as they did every Sunday, at the flying school. They never flew alone; there was always someone at the school. It had taken Mark a year and a half to get his flying license, so he knew what he was doing. They all took off, one by one, but about 30 minutes later, they saw Mark struggling. They immediately radioed him. Knowing my brother, he probably said, “I’ve got this,” while pulling at one string and then the other. And then, they lost contact with him.

His frame snapped, and he spiraled out of control, crashing to the ground. The wife of one of Mark’s best friends at the flying school saw it happen. She ran to his side and held his hand as he passed. He wasn’t alone. She is and always will be our family’s angel. Despite the profound sadness, there was a small miracle in Mark being an organ donor. Though he couldn’t donate organs due to the nature of his fall, he was able to help 26 other people through tissue donation. That knowledge keeps me going.

The pain of losing someone without being able to say goodbye or “I love you” is immense. Both my uncle and my brother died tragically, unable to say their farewells. But I find comfort in believing that they are watching over us every day from above.

Through this unbearable loss, I have learned the incredible importance of family and the strength we draw from our bonds. My brother, Mark, was a pillar of love and support. His absence has left a void that can never be filled, yet his spirit continues to guide and inspire me. Every day, I feel his presence, his laughter, his unconditional love. He taught me the value of compassion and selflessness, lessons I strive to honor every day.

The Lord has a plan for each of us, even though we may not always understand it. Trusting in His wisdom gives us the strength to endure the unthinkable. I hold onto the belief that they are with our Heavenly Father, watching over us and that someday, we will be reunited.

Family is everything. Through our shared love and support, we find the courage to face each day. Though I miss my brother more than words can express, I am grateful for the memories we shared and the love that will forever bind us. As I navigate this journey, I hold tight to my faith, trusting that the Lord’s plan, though often mysterious, is always woven with love and purpose.

In times of unimaginable loss, we cling to the belief that our loved ones are in a better place, free from pain and sorrow. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and while we may never fully understand His plan, we find solace in knowing that His love is ever-present. Mark's life was a testament to this love, and his memory will forever be a beacon of hope and inspiration. As we move forward, let us cherish the moments we have, hold our loved ones a little tighter, and trust in the divine path laid out before us.

Every tear shed is a testament to the depth of our love and the strength of our hearts, just as every breath is a testament to the gift of life.

www.newbreath.co.za